20- Living – Little Things

Today is the day after.

Being someone with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder among other things, some days can get even more low than you thought possible. Yesterday was one of those days. I’m sure a lot of people can relate, a lot more than we realize. After all, when we leave our room, we look generally normal.

As Eminem says “It’s so insane cause when it’s going good, it’s going great… But when it’s bad it’s awful”. So when it’s bad I want it good again. I start with music. I put on one of my favorite full length concerts, Emeli Sandé Live at the Royal Albert Hall (2013) Virgin Records Ltd.

With that serenading my room, food came next. Well food’s always on my mind. But because I was lazy sad, I went with the go to freezer junk, good ol’ pizza pops and chicken nuggets. And that’s all I did for myself.

The things that happened next is just blessings from all around. Having the scream queen Mark Patton comment on my facebook post. Well what can I say, little blessings all around.

Then I find out an old primary school friend, who I honestly haven’t talked to in years. You know one of those people you’ve lost touch with but see them on your Facebook feed here and there and smile. Well he got in Harvard Law School, now that’s amazing. Seeing his success just uplifted me so much.

That say Facebook is bad for depression, but I think it’s just a matter of who you’ve chosen to let into your network.

This morning, I was worried, so worried, that it’s going to be another downhill day. But I went on Youtube and found out that one of my favorite people in the world Ruth Crilly (A Model Recommends ) is pregnant. Well that was a wrap, the ribbon, and the whole stinkin’ bow.

For a second there, it was the thought of, oh no if I start the day with such good news, it’s just all going to go down to the gutters from here on. But I have my fighting spirit on today. I can’t be stuck today. Wasting time isn’t a luxury I can afford. It scares me to no end, but I’m going to do things today. Guess this turned out to be a pep talk of sorts.

These little things turned out to be not so little things. I’m shaking, but I’m going out today. Good luck.

Thanks for reading!

– a.seaa


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