47- Before I Fall Asleep – Ugliness

Third post is the sign that it needs to be it’s own category, so voilà ‘Before I Fall Asleep’ is now a series of it’s own. And it begins.

This evening I thought a lot about my presentation as a person. Is my first impression my best and it all goes downhill from there?

I’ve always been scared of what I could become. I’ve seen and am constantly immersed in so much negativity, dirtiness, and ugliness, that it takes all my energy to not become all those things. I’ve always been afraid of being ugly again, the kind of ugly that no amount of makeup of plastic surgery can change.

I definitely went through a time when I was a horrible person, the bully. I probably can’t blame all of it on the fact that I was the victim too, but I do know that is how it began. My young stupid mind only reflected what I was afflicted and shown. And now the ugly of the world is so dense, I hold dear to the things that don’t pull me down.

My cheerleaders and positive reflections make the best me possible. There will always be the people who bring out the worst in you, but you can refuse to let them win. The devil on your shoulder can be brushed away.

Deep breaths and pausing before reacting can save you a lot of unnecessary stress. Molehills do not need to become mountains. If need be, build yourself a podium to escape the grime that’s trying to drown you out.

We can smile, hold hands, and strut through it all. Because we are better, we can be better.

Thank you for reading!
– a.seaa

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